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authorNicholas Johnson <nick@nicholasjohnson.ch>2023-02-17 00:00:00 +0000
committerNicholas Johnson <nick@nicholasjohnson.ch>2023-02-17 00:00:00 +0000
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title: "Learning I'm Autistic Was a Relief"
date: 2023-01-15T00:00:00
draft: false
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---
Learning I'm autistic and realizing what that meant brought me a huge amount of relief. From a neurotypical perspective, that might not make a lot of sense. You might be thinking "How could it bring you relief to learn that you're autistic? Wasn't it depressing?" Just the opposite actually and I'll explain why. However, keep in mind that I'm just one autistic person. I don't speak for everybody else.
-Before I self-diagnosed as autistic, I knew there was something different about me compared to everybody else. I couldn't articulate exactly what it was, but there was no denying it. The feeling of being different, estranged from the rest of humanity, is a pretty universal autistic experience. If you're interested in which ways I'm different from neurotypicals, check out my other entries on autism, specifically "Coming Out as Autistic"[1]. The details are outside the scope of this entry.
+Before I self-diagnosed as autistic, I knew there was something different about me compared to everybody else. I couldn't articulate exactly what it was, but there was no denying it. The feeling of being different, estranged from the rest of humanity, is a pretty universal autistic experience. If you're interested in which ways I'm different from neurotypicals, check out my other entries on autism, specifically "[Coming Out as Autistic](/2022/05/16/coming-out-as-autistic/)". The details are outside the scope of this entry.
Anyways, as someone who is different, I had so many inaccurate and incomplete labels assigned to me growing up. Some of the more negative ones were "idiot", "weird", "weirdo", "retard", "slow", "loner", "lazy", "unfocused", "lost", "stubborn", "disorganized", "lacking common sense", "jerk", and "difficult". The positive labels I got were "smart", "genius", "hard-working", and "determined". I also acquired neutral labels like "different" and "introvert".
@@ -27,7 +26,3 @@ That's why finally learning I'm autistic was a good thing. It didn't make me sad
Maybe some of you out there suspect you're autistic or have some other condition and are avoiding getting diagnosed because you're afraid of the stigma or you're afraid it'll hurt your self-esteem. This is my train of thought on the subject (not medical advice):
You are the way you are. Getting a proper diagnosis doesn't make you autistic. Being autistic makes you autistic. Getting a diagnosis just means that you have the proper label. It means no longer being confused about what's going on in your life and, even if you don't pursue help, you know where to find it. And you don't have to tell anybody about your condition if you don't want to. In my personal experience though, being in the dark makes life a lot harder. It's better to know.
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-Link(s):
-[1: Coming Out as Autistic](/2022/05/16/coming-out-as-autistic/)