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+---
+title: "Labels"
+date: 2025-02-14T00:00:00Z
+tags: ['autism']
+draft: false
+---
+One thing that has helped me get over my autistic shame is realizing that, when other people describe me in a negative light, it's typically because they perceive me as normal, and judge me through that false lens.
+
+For example, I have always been blamed for being a "picky eater". I dislike that term because it gives the impression that I *choose* not to eat certain foods because they're not my favorites. But that's not what's happening. What's happening is the tastes and textures of certain foods are so overwhelming for me that I can't force myself to eat them.
+
+Another example is the term "antisocial". It carries a negative connotation meaning someone who avoids people, who doesn't care about others, and is rude. That's not me at all. Exactly the reverse: *Neurotypicals* avoid *me*, *they* don't care about *me*, and *they* are rude to *me*. And I don't avoid going out because I dislike people, but because environments which contain lots of people tend to be hostile to my senses. Notice how that's not at all what comes to mind when you think "antisocial".
+
+I have also been told that I'm selfish. I think there are several reasons that I'm misperceived as selfish. I'll mention two of them. One is that neurotypicals don't notice all the effort I make masking just so that they feel more comfortable around me. Masking is an exhausting, stressful, thankless act, which I do to others' benefit. Another reason I think I'm misperceived as selfish is that this world wasn't made for autistic people. Oftentimes, I'm so busy just trying to survive that I don't have as much left to give others as they can give me. Contrast that with a selfish person, who doesn't *want* to give to others.
+
+Just to make it perfectly clear, for added emphasis:
+
+**I am not weird. I am not awkward. I am not antisocial. I am not a hermit. I am not a picky eater. I am not stubborn. I am not lazy. I am not selfish. I am not retarded. I am not a child. I am not a robot. I am not oversensitive. I am not oblivious.**
+
+**I am *just* autistic.**
+
+I'm not claiming that autistic people like myself don't have negative traits. I'm merely pointing out that most of the negative labels I have accrued are a result of neurotypicals misunderstanding me. I adopted those labels in the past because I assumed that ten people telling me the same thing about myself couldn't *all* be wrong. As it turns out, they *were* all wrong. Some were genuinely misunderstanding me, while others were mislabelling me on purpose, weaponizing their ignorance so they could continue to blame me for things I had no control over. I'd like to close with a message aimed directly towards them:
+
+To all of you who have assigned me hurtful labels, giving me a false sense of self for my whole life, and denied my autism so you could continue blaming me for things I can't control, I've got a label for you:
+
+*You* are a bigot.
+
+And I will no longer allow you to define me.