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+---
+title: "Do Autistic People Make You Uncomfortable?"
+date: 2025-02-14T00:00:01Z
+tags: ['autism']
+draft: false
+---
+Many neurotypicals get uncomfortable when I mention that I'm autistic.
+
+I think the main reason for that is they immediately feel like they're walking on eggshells, like they have to watch everything they say around me lest they say something wrong. If that's you, maybe I can assuage your concerns:
+
+I can't speak for *all* autistic people, but I don't go around looking to "expose" people to the "woke police", get them fired from their job, or summon an online mob to demand a public apology. The most I've ever done is report someone to their manager. And I only did that when they were overtly discriminating against me. I just want to get through my day like everybody else. I'm not looking to pick fights and the people who are trying to pick fights annoy me.
+
+Another thing to keep in mind is that I have a lot more to be worried about from a bad interaction than you do. I may not realize there's been a grave miscommunication or that I've pissed someone off until it's way too late. At all times, I have to watch out for social predators who think they can take advantage of me because I'm different. I'm naturally more trusting of people, and thus very socially vulnerable, so I have to counteract that by being a little bit paranoid. You neurotypicals can just trust your instincts to pick up malicious intent most of the time.
+
+If it's the way I am that makes you feel uncomfortable, as opposed to you saying the wrong thing, that's also completely normal. I admit that normal people make me a little bit uncomfortable too. The difference is I've had my whole life to get used to you all. Even though I can't personally relate, I have come to accept your differences. Autistic people are less common, so you haven't had as many chances to get used to us.
+
+To clarify, when I say "get used to us", I'm not suggesting we're all the same. I'm referring to growing accustomed to common autistic traits. For instance, you don't need to get used to me flicking a fidget spinner, a different autistic person tugging on a piece of string, etc for each one of us. You only need to know what stimming is, and it would probably help to know why we do it as well. You may never be able to relate to it, but learning to recognize it and acknowledge why we do it can help you feel more comfortable around it.
+
+Remember, all of this is mutual and works the same way in reverse. There are certain traits neurotypicals exhibit that I'll probably never be able to relate to either, but I accept that that is how you are. For example, I'm more [deliberate and rational](https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2021.05.004 "Enhanced rationality in autism spectrum disorder") in my thinking than most of you. I still have cognitive biases just like everybody else, but some of you seem to believe literally whatever you find personally comforting, and just avoid thinking about the rest. It terrifies me that normal people can operate that way. I can't relate to it at all, but I acknowledge that that's the way some of you are and I understand the reason for it.
+
+And I think that's the key. We may not always be able to relate to each other, but trying to understand and respect our differences is progress towards us coexisting more harmoniously, and more comfortably.