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diff --git a/content/entry/why-autistic-people-are-targets-of-manipulation-and-how-to-avoid-becoming-a-victim.md b/content/entry/why-autistic-people-are-targets-of-manipulation-and-how-to-avoid-becoming-a-victim.md index 979e36d..22bb84f 100644 --- a/content/entry/why-autistic-people-are-targets-of-manipulation-and-how-to-avoid-becoming-a-victim.md +++ b/content/entry/why-autistic-people-are-targets-of-manipulation-and-how-to-avoid-becoming-a-victim.md @@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ So us autistic people assume everybody is straightforward and rarely lies. The p This is very hard for us autistic people to wrap our heads around. Why would someone not verbalize exactly what they're thinking? Why wouldn't they always be honest? We know people are indirect and deceptive in the abstract, but we never suspect it in our own social interactions. -Us autistics are generally bad at deception, so we're also bad at detecting it in others. Since we're always the least cool people in the room anyways, lying for popularity doesn't usually work. Even if it did, we're uninterested in the social hierarchy anyways. Our infrequent lying combined with the cognitive bias of assuming that others are like us means that when a "friend" or stranger asks for something, it doesn't occur to us that they may have malicious intent. +Us autistics are generally bad at deception, so we're also bad at detecting it in others. Since we're always the least cool people in the room anyway, lying for popularity doesn't usually work. Even if it did, we're uninterested in the social hierarchy anyway. Our infrequent lying combined with the cognitive bias of assuming that others are like us means that when a "friend" or stranger asks for something, it doesn't occur to us that they may have malicious intent. When we're asked to do something amoral, illegal, overly generous, or something that otherwise puts us at a disadvantage, we do it under the false pretenses supplied by the other person and end up suffering the consequences intended for them. @@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ Four out of five autistics are either unemployed or underemployed. Unless we can When we think of autistic people being manipulated and treated poorly, we think of "friends" and strangers doing it, but family members are probably the most common perpetrators. Many parents, rather than admitting they birthed an unemployable autistic person and making the best of a tough situation, they deny the autism and push their autistic offspring to repress their true nature, leading them into depression, anxiety, and self-hatred. ### Emotional Dependence -But financial dependence is only part of the equation. Since not many people want to associate with us, we become emotionally reliant on a small number of close relationships. We avoid crowds and the safety that comes along with them. +But financial dependence is only part of the equation. Since not many people want to associate with us, we become emotionally reliant on a few close relationships. We avoid crowds and the safety that comes along with them. This goes hand in hand with isolation. The fewer people in your tribe, the easier it is for a manipulator to isolate you from that tribe and twist your mind to suit their purposes. @@ -56,7 +56,7 @@ It's not all doom and gloom though. There are strategies we can use to improve o ## Don't Blindly Trust Others The first thing is not to blindly trust everything others say. Ask yourself "Does what they're saying make sense? Is it consistent with other things they've said? Is it consistent with their own motivations? Can I verify it? Do their friends know about it or believe it?" Just ask questions. -If you catch someone in a lie, figure out what sorts of things they lie about. There are different types of liars. Do they lie all the time or only in regards to this one thing? Are they lying to keep a secret? Do they admit to lying when called out on it? +If you catch someone in a lie, figure out what sorts of things they lie about. There are different types of liars. Do they lie all the time or only in regard to this one thing? Are they lying to keep a secret? Do they admit to lying when called out on it? I consider lying/deception a serious breach of trust. If someone lies to me even once, I'm skeptical of everything they say after. If they don't stop lying, I cut them off. There's no point being in a relationship with someone who constantly feeds you bullshit. It's not a real relationship. |