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+---
+title: "Snow White Syndrome, The Autism Version"
+date: 2025-04-26T00:00:01Z
+tags: ['autism']
+draft: false
+---
+## Introduction
+
+This journal entry is supplements a previous entry I wrote titled "[Why Autistic People Are Targets of Manipulation and How to Avoid Becoming a Victim](/2022/06/07/why-autistic-people-are-targets-of-manipulation-and-how-to-avoid-becoming-a-victim/ "Journal Entry: Why Autistic People Are Targets of Manipulation and How to Avoid Becoming a Victim")". In it, I wrote about a common autistic trait that makes us vulnerable to manipulation. First, I'll explore that trait and its consequences more deeply, then I'll share some advice for autistics on how to avoid being manipulated.
+
+Please keep in mind that my writing in this entry comes from my own personal experience as a [low-support-needs](/2023/01/31/on-the-term-high-functioning-autism/ "Journal Entry: On the Term 'High-Functioning Autism'") autistic person. Other autistic people may have different experiences.
+
+With that out of the way, let's move on to the meat and potatoes of this entry.
+
+
+## Analysis
+
+
+Here's the quote from the previous entry I mentioned that explains what this autistic trait is:
+
+> "[...] we tend to assume other people are always telling the truth. [...]
+> 
+> I think the reason for this is due to a cognitive bias everybody has: we tacitly presume others are like us, that they do what they do for the reasons we would do them.
+> 
+> So us autistic people assume everybody is straightforward and rarely lies. The problem with that is first, the average person communicates mostly via body language and doesn't say exactly what's on their mind. And second, the average person frequently lies."
+
+In my own life, I've had people tell me insane fabrications just to mess with me or see what they could get me to believe. I've also had manipulators tell me obvious lies in furtherance of their malicious goals. And all too often, I fell for it.
+
+I call this phenomenon of autistic people believing whatever we're told "Snow White Syndrome" because many of us autistics are like Snow White—innocent, naïve, and assuming that everybody has good intentions. Thus, like Snow White, we're also exceptionally vulnerable to deception.
+
+As a side note, there's already a condition called Snow White Syndrome, which is why this entry clarifies by appending "The Autism Version" in the title.
+
+
+### Underestimating Autistics
+
+Now despite what I just said about autistic people being like Snow White, I don't think we're quite as naïve as non-autistics suppose, especially those of us like myself with low-support-needs autism. In fact, I think non-autistics underestimate our social understanding because they're so bad at reading us. They think our unusual gaze or lack of reaction means we don't know what's going on. They think we don't know when we're being made fun of even when we do. They think they're getting away with lying to us even when we're not buying it.
+
+
+### Backfire
+
+Another observation I've made coming from my own personal experience is that those who do manage to deceive me in an attempt to gain an advantage for themselves very rarely achieve the results they're hoping for in the end. I'll attempt to explain why I think this is using the plot of [Atypical](https://libremdb.iket.me/title/tt6315640 "TV Series: Atypical"), a comedy-drama following the life of Sam, an autistic teenager.
+
+In Season 2 Episode 5, Arlo, a school bully, suggests that Sam donate $700 to a party at Arlo's house. Arlo, knowing that Sam loves penguins, offers to let Sam watch the penguin egg hatching on Arlo's home theater system at the party as a ploy. Sam falls for it and gives Arlo the $700. Then Sam tells his mom Elsa about the party because he doesn't realize it's a secret. Elsa then tells Arlo's mom about the party, and Arlo's party is spoiled. In anger, Arlo smashes Sam's phone at school while Sam is watching the penguin egg hatching, then pushes Sam down to the ground. Another student lends Sam her phone to watch the penguin egg hatching. Later, Sam's parents visit Arlo's parents, and Arlo's parents return the $700 with a new phone for Sam.
+
+So in the end, Arlo not only didn't achieve his goal, but also ended up ruining his party and costing his parents money. I think this is a good portrayal of what can happen when non-autistic people try to take advantage of autistic people for personal gain.
+
+It could be that people just overestimate the chance of a favorable outcome when tricking someone in general. But what if tricking autistic people actually has a *greater* chance of backfiring than tricking non-autistic people? To be clear, I don't have any hard evidence that this is the case. It's just a hypothesis, but allow me to explain why I think it *might* be the case.
+
+If you're not aware of the [double-empathy problem](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_empathy_problem "Double-empathy problem"), it posits that the struggle of autistics to understand and empathize with non-autistics isn't always an inherent deficit of ours, but rather stems from *bidirectional* differences in experiences between neurotypes. I.e, non-autistics *also* struggle to understand and empathize with us.
+
+Therefore non-autistics' attempts to trick autistics for their own gain often fail to take into account *how we're different from them*. Think about it. If the person you're trying to trick doesn't share your motivations, has different emotional reactions to situations, perceives the world in a different way, has a different brain structure than you, then why would you expect that deceiving them would result in a predictable outcome that's favorable to you? What if, like with what happened in Atypical, we act on the information you give us in ways you didn't anticipate?
+
+For me, even when their only goal was to provoke, my reaction never satisfied them. We don't necessarily react in ways that non-autistics recognize. Many people with bad intentions have made themselves extremely frustrated, almost to the point of madness, trying to get a rise out of me.
+
+
+### Summary
+
+Summarizing my analysis of Snow White Syndrome, The Autism Version, we autistics *can* be overly naïve and trusting, *but* non-autistics overestimate their ability to trick us and, I believe, underestimate the chances of their schemes backfiring.
+
+
+## How Not to Be Snow White
+
+So now that I've discussed Snow White Syndrome and explored how it plays out, at least based on my experience, I want to talk about what we autistics can do to prevent it from being exploited in the first place. This is important too because, although it often backfires for the person trying to exploit us, the consequences of their attempts can be ruinous for our lives.
+
+
+### Talk is Cheap
+
+My first tip is to recognize that people can *say* anything. For all you know, this entire blog could be bullshit. It could be AI-generated. Maybe my name isn't even Nicholas. Maybe this is a copy of someone else's blog. It's not, but are you going to confirm that?
+
+We tend to assume people are being truthful unless we have a reason to suspect they're lying. This basic assumption holds society together, but it's problematic at the same time, because we know that **people lie a lot**. So take that as your new mantra, and repeat it to yourself until it sinks in:
+
+People lie a lot.
+
+People lie a lot.
+
+People lie a lot.
+
+
+### Context is Expensive
+
+Another thing to pay attention to is context. I can't emphasize this enough. We autistics have such a myopic focus on **content** that we completely forget about **context**. *Content* is always intentional, which means it's the most likely way people will try to deceive you. *Context* is usually unintentional because it takes more mental effort to fabricate.
+
+Talk is cheap, but masking one's tone of voice, speech patterns, posture, mood, *when* one wants to say something, etc, especially over a long period of time, is very expensive. It takes a lot of cognitive resources to keep up an elaborate act, so you're less likely to be fooled if you focus on the overall context in which someone says something rather than just the content of what they're saying.
+
+
+### "Vaccinate" Yourself
+
+I have one final strategy to avoid your Snow White Syndrome being exploited that I'd like to share in this entry. It might seem a bit unusual, but it's based on my own personal experience from enduring years of bullying, deceit, manipulation, and fake friends. The fact that I had to learn how to resist this the hard way had big negative impacts on my well being. *No one* should have to go through that, which is why I'm sharing this tip. I'll introduce it by means of analogy.
+
+Vaccines expose you to a weakened version of a pathogen that triggers an immune response. That way, if you come into contact with the real thing, your immune system will recognize it and be prepared to fight it off. You don't want your immune system to fight off the real virus first, because it may not figure out how to fight back in time.
+
+Likewise, you don't want your first encounter with malicious behavior to be with a highly manipulative person, because they can wreak havoc on your life. Ideally, you want to inoculate yourself against being taken advantage of *before* it happens. That means learning to recognize toxic and manipulative behaviors, and effective ways to respond to them, before you encounter them in the wild. Neurotypicals pick up on things more through socialization, but we autistics don't always. For us, it can be better to *explicitly* learn it.
+
+I'm not going to cover all that information here, because I'd be here all day. There are just too many ways people can fool others. But there are plenty of free online resources that cover how to recognize it, and how to fight back. Take advantage of those resources.
+
+Autistic people are seen as easy targets (regardless of whether we are or not) and it's frequently the very people we trust, like "friends" and family, who are taking advantage. That's why it's so critical to at least be aware of the telltale signs someone is being deceitful or manipulative.
+
+
+## Conclusion
+
+To round off this entry, I just want to make a few comments.
+
+Manipulation is everywhere, not just in certain places. Autistic people can be just as manipulative as non-autistics. Someone who is mostly honest may be deceitful in certain situations or with certain people. Manipulative people can be very popular and charming. Deceit can take place inside trusting relationships too. You may be the manipulator in a relationship and not even realize you're doing it.
+
+Also, don't think you're above being tricked. None of us are. While we're not all equally vulnerable to it, all of us are vulnerable to *some* form of manipulation.
+
+Don't let that make you paranoid. My goal in this entry isn't to make anybody worry excessively, but rather to educate and prepare you so that you don't have to learn things the hard way, as I did.